Live and let live

You know what they say – “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”. And in the general scheme of things, I’d dare say I’ve been pretty great with that, tbh. 

Whenever I’m  tempted to let someone have it, I laugh it off instead. Or I’ll smile. Or giggle (I do this when I’m really mad, I noticed). But most often than not, it’s because I’m genuinely happy.

But as it happens, I’ve been told many a time – both directly or indirectly  (mostly indirectly, because people are cowards, unfortunately) that I should laugh less, smile less, giggle less. Because of course, “people” pay all my bills and as such, assume it’s their place to tell me how to live my life. I wonder – would they rather I give them a piece of my mind and tell em what I’m really thinking? Or would they prefer that I actually give two hoots about their feelings and be nice instead? Or is being happy a crime now?

It’s pretty sad actually. That people have time to mull and complain about something as inconsequential as someone laughing. And giggling. And smiling. There are more important things that require our energy – how about you use it to show others love and compassion? How about you use it to do your part in eradicating poverty? The list is endless. And I’d be more than happy to take time off my busy, yet fulfilling life to offer up suggestions as to how you could successfully utilise that energy. Or where you can shove it  😉

Yes I laugh, giggle and smile a lot. So what? I’m not hurting anyone. Positivity can be infectious, and at least I’m doing my part to help spread it rather than spread doom and gloom like you. While you bring your negative energy to the table, I bring positive vibes. So while you’re consumed and blinded by your holier-than-thou attitude, let me relish in own happiness and look on the bright side where it’s all sunshine and unicorns and flowers.

Which brings me to life lesson #223: one can NEVER please anyone. It would be stupid to try. 

So laugh as much as you want. Smile nonstop. Eat that bag of chips you’ve been wanting to eat. Devour the bar of chocolate you’ve been craving. Talk a mile a minute. In fact, do whatever the hell you want. Because life’s too short to live your life afraid of being judged. Trust me, the very same people who seem to have a gazillion opinions about your life will be the very last people to reach out to you when you’re down in the dumps.

Live and let live. It’s that simple.

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Saying goodbye to student life

What did your final semester in college feel like?

Yes, you. I’m asking you.

But first let me tell you what I thought. I guessed that I’d be excited to be done but that I would probably be a little upset about missing the time spent with friends. That I’d gleefully complete all assignments and do my best now that I know how most of my professors think and know what they expect. That I would savour each moment so I could hold onto it long after I was done.

Boy was I dead wrong. Screw savouring time – I couldn’t wait for the semester to be over. I still did all assignments the way I always have – in a frenzied panic. Nothing was pre-planned. I didn’t tailor my assignments to appeal to the professors the way I’d initially planned. I didn’t celebrate my last presentation, my last research paper or my last exam. Heck, I didn’t even realize which ones were the last. My final semester wasnt the smooth ride I had hoped it would be and was, instead, the roller coaster ride it had always been. In fact, I felt like I lacked motivation, I just couldn’t be bothered about anything. To be honest, more often than not, I completely forgot it was my last semester.

But other times, I’d remember. Then I’d worry about what my future held for me. What would I do? Where would I work? Most importantly, which career path would I pick? That would determine if I would pursue further education.

Soon, college became something I desperately wanted to hold onto instead of discard. The real world beckoned on the horizon as I desperately try to cling to what’s left of my final semester. The future seemed scary. Uncertain. 

But this made me realize the obvious – the future will always be uncertain and full of surprises. It will always be one helluva rollercoaster ride. So all we can do is enjoy the ride; the rush and the high that comes with it, persevere through the scary moments. 

Life may not be predictable. But you know what? That’s actually the best part!! Think about it – how fun would life be if it was monotonous? If there were no challenges? 

I’ve learnt to embrace life wholeheartedly – the ups, the downs and the inbetweens. And you should too.

2015 – Where did thou go?

Seriously? In the time it took us to blink, 2016 is THREE months in already!! How crazy is that!!!

Anyhoo, 2015 has been a pretty good year for yours truly – and about time too considering the past few years haven’t been the greatest. But what made 2015 great was myself. Life knocked some sense into me and I figured that I was responsible for my own happiness, and that sometimes, you have to stand your ground and be assertive, and you absolutely HAVE TO think of yourself.

I’m not one to whine about the past or talk about “serious stuff”,  nevertheless, I thought this post was necessary – especially if it would help others make juice when life handed them lemons 🙂

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Here are some of the lessons I’ve learnt along the way. Most of them will make you think you’ve heard it a million times before. And you probably have. But that’s because it always rings true.

1. Learn to love yourself.
I have always loved myself – the good, the bad and the ugly. No, not in a narcissistic way. But in an accepting way. And this is what helps you realize that you deserve better.

2. Sometimes, you have to be selfish.
I have always lived to make others happy. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for others. But always in a way that they wouldn’t realize that. I’ve always hated for people to think I’m being selfless (weird, I know). But at least every once in a while, learn to do things for yourself. Because YOU want to do it. Not because it will make someone else happy when you do it.

3. The glass IS half full, okay? Even though you may not see it at first.
One of my strengths has been that I’ve always looked on the bright side. Be it in people or situations. While I have sometimes questioned why certain things happened to me in the immediate aftermath of it occurring, before long, I couldn’t be happier that it happened. Everything really does happen for the best. Believe that.

4. What doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
You truly never know how strong you are until you get put in hot water. At the end of it, you’ll wonder where all that strength came from, and you’ll be surprised to know that it all came from you. For me, I feel like I have nothing left to lose now and that has led me to actually LIVE my life.

5. If people talk crap about you, it says nothing about you and everything about them.
Let em talk. Seriously. And if people believe the worst about you without hearing your side of the story, do you REALLY need people like that in your life? Exactly.

6. Don’t let anyone dim your shine. Ever.
Know your self worth and don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re nothing and make you feel inferior. If people really care for you, they will make you feel better about yourself. Not belittle you. Not continuously insult your intelligence. So don’t take any crap from anyone. Respect yourself enough to do that at least!

To all those of you who are currently having a tough time – always remember, nothing lasts. Especially the bad. And always talk to someone. Don’t suffer alone. We all have our different ways of coping, and although I prefer handling stuff myself, having a support system doesn’t hurt.

Here’s hoping the rest of 2016 turns out to be amazing for all of us!!!!

Stay strong and hang in there.

Lots of love

Hiatus

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I know I was MIA the past few months, but I’ve tried – and obviously failed at – not falling off of the face of earth entirely. I think 😛

Let me start listing off my lame excuses by saying that I honestly have so much respect for those who work and study – I’ve been struggling with time management!!!!!  Psych degrees are crazy (APA research papers, amirite?) and being a writer and sub editor on top of that – and you can bid adieu to any semblance of social life :/

Okay so I’m blaming everything on work + college – because why not? Lol. And having to do coding as a subject is driving me up the wall. Honestly – who gives a rats butt about coding??? Who??????? Did my coding midterms yesterday and had major anxiety for the duration of it :/ I literally have no idea what I did 😦 Life.

Anyhoo, while I’m prolly still not going to be consistent when posting, I’m hoping to at least post once a month. Set simple goals. Baby steps. Gotta start somewhere noh? So I will – fingers crossed – devote as much time as I can to the blog.

Hope you guys are rocking the hell outta what’s left of the weekend.

Much love 🙂

15 Reasons You Were Late Today

Even if I didn’t have to deal with traffic and could teleport, I’d still be late all the time. The only difference is my excuses would have to be more efficient.

― Jarod Kintz

Sri Lankans have a habit of being chronically late. Actually, scratch that. We prefer the term “Fashionably” late. Because let’s face it, no one’s perfect. Every once in a while you’re bound to hit a snafu and get delayed. The operative words being “once in a while”. The problem occurs when EVERYONE plan on being “fashionably” – because in a weird, twisted thought process, that is a legit excuse – behind schedule, selfishly delaying meetings, coffee dates and just about every occasion.

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We deal with many types of “late comers” on a daily basis: (a) Those who always claim to be “on the way”. No. You’re still in the shower (b) Those in constant denial “Late? Me? What nonsense – I’m on time!” (c) The pre-liars (d) The post-liars. No matter what type they are, you can’t deny that some folks have totally genius – albeit unbelievable – excuses. Practice really does make perfect – and since habitual tardiness requires varying responses – the lies have become more creative and elaborate over time. Laties are an amusing yet insufferable lot. They turn up with a ready excuse, blaming their tardiness on everything and everyone from their star sign to their pet to the weather gods to even their personality!  “I can’t help it – I’m a type B personality noh. We experience time differently than the others. Science, ya’ll!”.

But some excuses are thrown around so much they’re now pretty irrelevant. Nevertheless, they are constantly recycled. Here’s why you were late today:

You DID set your alarms. But they were inscrutably set to PM instead of AM.
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You have nothing to wear.

Your head would explode if you didn’t watch that one extra episode. The cliffhanger was too intense and was giving you anxiety. So you just had to watch the following episode to see the hero’s earth shattering discovery.

Your spawn of Satan neighbor’s car was blocking your driveway. AGAIN.

You’re just too darn tired. All that napping and watching movie marathons and eating is exhausting.

You lost your car keys. On second thought, maybe your cat stole it – he’s been acting shady lately.

You spent longer than you thought in the shower. It’s not your fault time flies when you’re in there belting out powerhouse performances and giving artists a run for their money.

You got caught up watching a YouTube video on a “dancing man wearing a horse mask cooking wild mushrooms”. It was totally educational.
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You had last minute guests. And obviously, you couldn’t ask them to just up and leave.

You saw this awesome 5-minute hairdo tutorial on pinterest and had to try it out. Only it took, uh, 40 minutes longer than you anticipated.

You got a call. And you’re a law abiding citizen who doesn’t talk on the phone while driving.

It’s raining – in your neighbouring town.

It’s too sunny outside.

You had last minute work – it’s only expected to take 2 minutes. Tops.

Traffic. Because there’s always traffic in Sri Lanka, right? Even on a Sunday. Crazy noh?

☆☆ As published in the Daily Mirror Life ☆☆